"My Infinite Worth"

“I’ve kissed a boy before,” I say and sit up straighter.



“Oh, but not like dat you hadn’t,” she smiles and it goes to the center of me.


“How do you know?”


“The same way I know dat boy is a mama man! I can read you, child. You do not see the beauty in yourself. It is why you were so quick for dat boy to kiss you. You don’t see your worth yet, your infinite worth,” she says this last part with squinted eyes, like she is trying to see for me. “Neither does dat poor boy. He is too scared to see what he wants.” She turns to Meeka and whispers, “Go get me a glass of water, child.”


But Julie is already back in the room, a glass of water for an ant in her hand. “There’s no need. I got you covered, Mrs. Jones.”


“Eh eh! Wot thirst am I going to quench with this raindrop!” Pearl grabs the gold-rimmed glasses from her nightstand and pushes them up the bridge of her nose. “You need a microscope to find any water residing in dat.” She yanks the glass from Julie’s hand.


Julie ignores Pearl like she always does and begins to remove the wire attached to Pearl’s chest.


“Eh eh! I can get more liquid from my own bawlin’!”


Julie turns back from the dialysis machine and looks Pearl right in the eye. “Be my guest.” It is a good thing that Julie doesn’t smile because her chipmunk cheeks would probably burst.


“Leave me alone with my beautiful girls, woman!” Pearl swats a sausage-hand in the air at Julie.


“Ten minutes and then it’s time for your bath,” Julie says with another smile in her eyes that doesn’t quite make it to her lips. I trust Julie’s smiles more than my mother’s huge grins. There’s something more honest about a smile that comes from the eyes and not the mouth.


“Fine!” Pearl blows her tongue between her lips, giving us another one of her rain showers. “Sorry, children,” she says and mumbles “my bath,” like it is the most ridiculous idea in the world. She studies the puddle of water in her glass and downs it.


“Granny, you know Julie’s just looking out for you,” Meeka says and takes the empty glass from her.


“I have nothing against Julie, child—so long as she lets me be.” Pearl pushes her glasses up and looks down at both of us. “Freedom—that’s all we want in this life. Except you, beautiful girls—you both can take your freedom now,” she says, her eyes bright with mischief.